


Choose to fight

by smkkbert



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:19:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7466616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smkkbert/pseuds/smkkbert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Oliver and Felicity travel to the future, they expect a mission with villains. What they don't expect is at what point of their relationship they find their future-selves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Choose to fight

“I don’t get what we’re doing here,” Felicity whispered, tightening her fingers around Oliver’s hand as she followed him through the dark alley. “What did Sara tell you why she sent us here?”

“She said there was a really important mission we had to take care of,” Oliver replied.

He glanced around the corner, making sure there was no threat waiting for them on the other side of the brick wall. Only when he seemed to feel like it was safe, he tugged at Felicity’s hand and made her follow him out of the alley. The bright light of the streetlamps blinded Felicity for a short moment, and she had to hide her face against Oliver’s bicep to shut out the light that seemed to burn in her eyes. When Felicity had adjusted to the bright light, she turned her head back and took in her surroundings.

She couldn’t count how many times she had thought about what the future would look like. Felicity had to admit that she was quite disappointed what she was seeing now. The same streets she knew, the same building she knew, the same everything it seemed. Apparently, there wasn’t going to change a lot in the future. Or was it ‘there hadn’t changed much since the present’ because she was in the future now?

“Hon,” Oliver said, interrupting her thoughts with a squeeze of her hand. “We are only five years in the future, so of course the world hasn’t changed completely ever since. I think we need to focus on what to expect regarding the mission, though.”

“I guess I said it out loud again?”

With a low chuckle Oliver turned his head and pressed his lips to her temple reassuringly. Felicity was sure that he hadn’t missed how nervous she had been about traveling in time. She knew it existed, but it was just opposed to everything else she believed in, so agreeing on coming here hadn’t been easy for her. Felicity had just agreed because Oliver had told her that Sara had made perfectly clear that they _had_ to come here.

“Okay, what exactly did Sara say we are supposed to do here?” Felicity asked in a whisper.

“Felicity, there is no need to whisper.”

“I feel like we are intruders in this time, so I am whispering.”

Oliver sighed, only shaking his head. When she pinched him into the side, he added, “Sara just said that there is something that she stumbled about during _her_ last mission.”

“And she traveled here?”

“Apparently.”

“And she couldn’t have been vaguer about it?” Felicity asked. “Or actually she could have been if she hadn’t told us what time we had to travel in.”

Oliver let out a breathy chuckle, pulling at Felicity’s hand to make her move a little closer to his side. With a low sigh, she rested her head against his shoulder. Once again she tightened her hold on his hand. She just really didn’t like being here. This was what aliens must feel like… if there were one.

“So where will we start?” Felicity asked.

“I don’t know,” Oliver replied honestly. “I guess we will book a hotel room and try to figure out what’s going on… somehow.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little strange that Sara insisted we should go here without John or anyone and didn’t tell us what exactly is waiting for us?”

“I don’t understand it either,” Oliver answered honestly, considering his words with care. “I guess she just had her reasons.”

 

 

Oliver stroked the tips of his fingers up and down Felicity’s naked back gently. She was lying half across his chest. Their legs were entangled. Her head rested on his chest with her blonde hair covering her face and muffling the low snoring coming from her open lips.

They had spent the last three days trying to find any hint on what Sara could have meant, but they hadn’t found anything. The city seemed at more peace than Oliver had ever seen it. The police was able to handle the local criminal organizations mostly, even if they still needed some help from the city’s own guardian angels.

He and Felicity had considered paying the team a visit, but they had decided against it at the end. They were messing with time as it was. If they made it worse, Oliver didn’t want to think about the consequences. He had messed with time before. Well, Barry had messed with time, but Oliver had messed with it even worse by choosing to lie to Felicity about William.

Oliver pressed a kiss to the crown of Felicity’s head, reassuring himself that she was there. It had almost taken a year after the break-up for them to get back together. Their relationship had needed a lot of healing for them to get to where they are now, lying snuggled up to one another in a hotel bed of the future with Felicity’s engagement ring sparkling in the little light that fell into the room.

Though he was tired, Oliver knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep much. He hadn’t slept much the last night either. Sleep never came easy for him, especially not in unfamiliar beds like this one. If it wasn’t for Felicity by his side, he would have already gotten up and exercised excessively until he had just passed out.

“Felicity?” Oliver whispered as quietly as he could. He wanted to make sure that she was really asleep without waking her up. “Felicity?”

When she still didn’t move, Oliver slowly reached out for the remote on the nightstand, making sure his movements wouldn’t wake Felicity. He switched on the TV and quickly muted it, so Felicity wouldn’t wake up. While the screen of the TV was switched on, he glanced at Felicity and released a low sigh of relief when she was still fast asleep.

Oliver zapped from channel to channel half-heartedly.

In the few days they were here now, they really hadn’t gotten one step closer to finding out why Sara had sent them here. If they didn’t find out what was going on here in the next eighty-four hours, they would just travel back. Maybe whatever Sara had thought was so important had resolved itself already. Maybe-

Oliver’s thoughts came to a sudden stop when what he saw his own face, only slightly older, appearing on the screen. He was walking down the stairs in front of the courthouse while the light of the cameras were hailing down on him. His lips were pressed together tightly, and dark rings had formed under his eyes.

As nosy as he was about what was waiting for him in the future, Oliver knew that the less he knew the better. If he knew what was to expect in the future, he would maybe not work for it as hard as he had before they had messed with time because he felt like he would get it anyway. It was why he and Felicity had decided to stay away from their future-selves and not even gone further than read that they were still alive. What if they had read that they had-

Again Oliver’s thoughts came to a sudden stop when this time it was Felicity’s face on the screen. Just like his future-self had walked down the stairs in front of the courthouse before, her future-self was doing the same now.

It was less her appearance than the caption that made Oliver’s breath getting caught in his throat.

_Divorce finalized!_

Oliver looked down at his sleeping Felicity for a moment. He tightened his arm around her waist before he unmated the TV to the quietest volume.

_…was confirmed by Queen’s press officer today. The couple got married four years ago, and quickly grew to be Star City’s favorite power couple. While they still seemed to be close in February last year when Queen reopened the free clinic of his deceased childhood friend’s mother Rebecca Merlyn, the couple appeared split soon later. Rumors of a pregnancy were soon to be disproved when Smoak and Queen announced in an official statement in August last year that inconsolable differences were keeping them from being together any longer and they decided to file for divorce. Today the divorce was granted. Queen and Smoak both stated that they would continue to work together and stay friends. The separate leaving of-_

Oliver switched off the TV, quickly putting the remote away.

So that was what Sara had meant, or at least Oliver thought that it had to be what she had meant. If not this, what else would it be?

Oliver looked at Felicity, who was still sound asleep next to him. It had taken so very long until he had finally been able to let her in and they had had the summer of love as he liked to call it. He had ruined their relationship, though, when he had lied to her. And again it had taken so long for them to get together.

Now he was finally happy without the burden of a lie in the back of his mind. This was the happiest he had ever been. Felicity was his always and not being with her any longer was unimaginable.

How could there be a version of him that had lived through being apart from her for so long despite loving her and still decide to divorce her? What had happened between them that had made him agree to that? Had he screwed up again? Was that why they had gotten divorced? Because he had screwed up again?

That couldn’t be! He had learned, and he had progressed and he wouldn’t screw this up again!

He carefully slid out of bed, kneeling next to it and watching Felicity for awhile until he was sure that she was still asleep. He pressed a lingering kiss to her head and whispered to her soundlessly that he would be back soon. He quickly got dressed and left the hotel room with only the key card in his hand.

 

 

The divorce was finalized. Felicity was officially not his wife anymore now. He was officially not her husband anymore now. That was what divorce meant. They had been husband and wife, but now they weren’t anymore.

Oliver took a nip of the scotch. His father had always drunken a glass when he had had a bad day. Somehow Oliver had thought that maybe it would help him tonight, but obviously it didn’t. He was feeling just as miserable as he had felt when he had left the courtroom after the divorce had been finalized. Actually, he had been feeling like this since he and Felicity had decided that they would get divorced.

He pulled out his wedding band from the pocket of his pants. It was a simple white gold ring. Oliver remembered when they had chosen the rings and the words they would have engraved.

_Fight to live._

He had fought to live. He had fought so much, and ever since she had asked him for it, it had always been to live. He couldn’t say no to her. Having the words engraved in the ring had been a constant reminder. It had helped him to keep fighting when Felicity hadn’t been there to tell him.

But where had all the fighting taken him? Yes, he had had some great years with Felicity. Yet it had fallen apart at the end.

Maybe they had wanted too much. With him being the mayor and Felicity leading Smoak Industries and the long nights they had spent in their secret hide-out there had barely been any time for each other. They had both been so focused on their tasks and-

When there was a knock at the door, Olive quickly put the glass of scotch away on the small table next to his armchair and pushed the ring back into the pocket of his pants. He didn’t expect any visitors. He had texted Thea and John that he wanted to be alone tonight, but he knew his sister too well to think that she would actually stay away.

With a low sigh he opened the door and- froze.

There stood a slightly younger version of him right in front him. His hair was more blonde than pepper-and-salt. The wrinkles around his eyes were less deep. His stubble was shorter. Yet this younger version looked just as tired as he knew he looked now.

Oliver shouldn’t be shocked. He knew that time travel existed. It was just that he had never run into a future or past version of himself. And actually Oliver had hoped it would stay that way because looking at himself like that was just weird.

“We need to talk,” the younger Oliver said, already walking past him into the apartment.

Oliver nodded, just closing the door. What was this younger version of him doing here? And why did he come here today of all days?

“What are you doing here?” he asked his younger version.

“Funny thing! I was just going to ask you the same,” his younger version answered, turning around to him with his arms crossed in front of his chest. “How the hell could you let that divorce happen?”

Oliver pressed his lips together, gesturing towards the living room. He had been living in this apartment for more than a year now, and he still wasn’t really used to it. After living in a beautiful house with Felicity for so long, the apartment just wasn’t able to give him the same feeling of a home. He sat back down in the armchair, gesturing for his visitor find a seat.

“I’ll prefer to stand.”

Again Oliver nodded. He eyed that former version of himself up, trying to figure out what time he had come from. Given how passionate he was for Felicity, Oliver knew that it had been after their summer of love. He had probably even lived through the break-up.

“What time do you come from?” he asked tiredly.

“2017.”

Oliver nodded slowly. “You are reengaged to Felicity, I guess?”

The younger Oliver gave him a wordless nod.

“Marrying Felicity has been the right choice,” he explained slowly, unsure of what he should say. “It was the best I could have done, and I will never regret it. It just didn’t work out.”

“It just didn’t work out?” his younger version replied angrily. “Maybe you should have put more effort into it.”

Oliver released a breathy chuckle. Yes, that sounded exactly like him. It was actually what he had thought a lot of times in the past months already, but…

He was tired and exhausted. He had been for a long time. Between saving the city by day and by night, being responsible for a multibillion-dollar-corporation with thousands of employees, desperately trying to have a baby and having their hopes crushed every time the test had turned out negative their marriage had fallen by the wayside. It had made them tired, both of them. And somehow they had lost each other.

“It just… it’s complicated.”

“No, it’s actually very simple. I fought too long for her for you to just decide that it’s done.”

Oliver sighed. He didn’t want to have to explain to his past-self that sometimes love wasn’t enough and you could fight as much as you could, it would still not be enough to compensate for everything that was going wrong. Sometimes it just didn’t work out.

“I wish it was different, but…” Oliver shook his head. “We just hurt each other.”

The younger Oliver looked at him for long moment, eying him up with a frown.

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but you will never be happy again without her. You love her, and the only time you’ve ever been truly happy is when you have been with her.”

He couldn’t say that it wasn’t true because it was. The happiest he had ever been and would ever be was with Felicity. She had made his life complete, and he had given her the same. At least it had been that way for them until the wish for a baby had come up.

Maybe that had been their mistake, wanting more than they had had. They had wanted to challenge their luck. Everything had worked out so perfectly, but then they had wanted even more, and it had fallen apart.

“It’s… too late,” Oliver said with a shake of his head. “The divorce is finalized and-“

“Who cares?” his past-version asked. “So you are divorced. Then let’s start over, but you need to choose to fight. If you don’t even try, you will never get her back.”

Oliver didn’t say a word. He just looked at his younger self and tried to progress his words. He nodded slowly.

“I’ll go now. And I hope I don’t have to come back because in that case we might have to explore what is more important in a fight – age or experience.”

He shot him a pointed glare before he turned around and left.

Oliver stayed where he was, repeating his younger self’s words in his mind over and over again. He needed to choose to fight or otherwise he would never be as happy as he had been before.

He had fought for his marriage, though. He had fought a lot, and it hadn’t gotten him anywhere. It had still fallen apart. It had only taken longer and hurt more at the end. He still loved Felicity, and she still wanted him back. She just wasn’t sure that either of them had the energy to fight for what they had.

Oliver pulled the ring from the pocket of his pants again and watched it resting on the flat palm of his hand.

_Fight to live._

 

 

Felicity leaned her head back against the headboard of the bed, taking in a deep breath and closing her eyes.

She hadn’t thought that it would be that hard. It had only been a couple of signatures, but she felt more exhausted than ever. Even all the surgeries she had been put through after Darhk had shot her had failed to make her feel this tied and exhausted.

Well, ending a part of her life that she had hoped would never end hadn’t been easy.

It had been right, though. Felicity took in another deep breath, doing her best to keep herself from crying. She had been crying her eyes out for months. She had hoped again and again that they could have fixed their marriage, but at the end they had both just been too tired. People always said you had to fight for love, but when was the point to say that it was enough and you couldn’t fight anymore? For them the point had been somewhere one year ago.

A quiet knock pulled Felicity from her thoughts.

“Just go away,” she whispered without opening her eyes.

She really didn’t want any company tonight. Lyla had offered to come here and spend the evening with her, but Felicity had said she’d prefer to be alone. She had spent one year alone in her apartment already. It had gotten easier after awhile, at least a little. The first nights without Oliver’s even breathing next to her had been hard, though.

When another knock sounded through the small apartment, Felicity got up with a sigh and walked to the door. She would just get rid of whoever was waiting outside for her and then head back to bed and probably just try to catch some sleep. She had some important business meetings ahead of her. They would probably keep her busy these next days.

Felicity opened the door. The words of rejection were already on the tip of her tongue when she realized that it wasn’t Lyla or Curtis who had come to visit her.

“Oliver.”

He had been the last person she had expected to see here and now. They had been supposed to stay out of each other’s way for a couple of days, so the new situation could settle. Once the first days would have passed, they would have seen each other in the lair again.

“I know it’s… I know I probably…” Oliver started, rubbing his hand over the back of his head with a deep sigh. “Can I please come in?”

“Uhm… sure,” Felicity said, opening the door farther, so he could step in. “I didn’t clean up, so better don’t-“

“Don’t worry about that.”

Felicity closed the door behind Oliver and leaned back against the wood with her arms crossed in front of her chest. She knew it was politer to invite Oliver in and not stay here in the entrance, but the less memories of Oliver in her apartment were created, the better.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had an,” Oliver started and made a long pause before he continued, “unusual visitor tonight.”

Felicity cocked her head, frowning at him. “Everything alright?”

Oliver let out a dry chuckle, shaking her head. She gulped at the way he looked at her. He looked sad, almost as sad as when he had asked her not to ask him to tell her he didn’t love her. The memory made a shiver run down the length of her spine.

“One of my past-selves came to remind me of something.”

“And that is?”

“We fought so long to be together. We can’t just give that up.”

Felicity froze. Her breath got caught in her throat, and her heart skipped a beat.

“Oliver, we just got divorced,” she whispered with her voice barely louder than a breath. “And we’ve fought so much to prevent this from happening, but-“

“I don’t feel like I did enough,” Oliver interrupted her with a shake of his head. “I still feel like I could have and should have done more. I… Being with you has made me so happy, and I should have put more effort into making sure that we would stay happy.”

Felicity opened her mouth to say something, but no sound came out. What was she supposed to say about that? She had wished for Oliver to say something like this so long, but…

“It’s too late,” she whispered. “We got divorced. We decided for a clean cut, and-“

“Please just… What we had was too special to just throw it away and end it like that. Maybe we needed the clean cut to start over,” Oliver said urgently. “I know it seems like it’s too late, but it’s not. I still love you, and I still want to be with you.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, watching Oliver closely. She believed him. She believed that what he was saying was true, but they had tried and they had failed. It had hurt a lot to let go. It still hurt. Holding on any longer and forcing themselves to stay in a marriage that had grown to be more exhausting than anything else would have been harder, though. Felicity wasn’t sure if she had the courage to try again.

“Oliver, I still want a baby.”

He looked at her for a long moment before he stepped forward and framed her face with his hands. The rough tips of his fingers stroked over her cheekbones. Again Felicity’s heart skipped a beat at the intense way Oliver looked at her.

“We will find a way,” he whispered. His lips were barely a breath away from hers. She could feel his breath ghosting over her skin as he spoke. “I will find a way to give you a baby. I don’t know how, but I will find a way.”

“The last time the fact that we wanted a baby was what drove us apart, at least mostly.”

“I know,” Oliver replied gently, stroking his hand over the side of her face. “We will find a way that won’t destroy us.”

“How?”

“I don’t know yet, but we will.”

Felicity wished she could believe him. She wanted to believe him. They had tried so hard already, though. Putting themselves through that again…

“I don’t know if I can.”

“I know,” Oliver whispered, leaning his forehead against hers and closing his eyes. “We just… You just take your time and think about it. I’ll still be here when you’re ready. Just… promise me that you will think about it.”

Felicity nodded. She could think about it. She could still decide that she couldn’t do it then. For now she just needed to think about it. Maybe Oliver was right, or maybe he wasn’t. She just couldn’t think about it today.

“I… think I’d like to be alone now,” she whispered.

Oliver nodded. “Yes of course.”

He didn’t move, though. For a long moment he kept his head rested against her forehead. Only slowly did he pull back and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead.

“Good night, Felicity.”

“Night, Oliver.”

She stepped away from the door, so Oliver could open it and step out. He smiled at her sadly over his shoulder once more before he closed the door between them. Felicity closed her eyes, taking in a sniffling breath.

She had thought that it was over now, but of course it hadn’t been. She and Oliver had given each other a promise. Now she just needed to figure out if she had meant it. Slowly she pulled the necklace out from under her shirt and looked at the inside of her ring.

_You are my always._

During their faked wedding for Cupid he had told her that. He had told her that she was his always and wanted the chance to be hers. He had proven that he meant it. They had gotten divorced this morning, and yet here he had been and asked her to start over. For him she was his always.

Could she still let him be her always, though?

 

 

Sara watched Oliver approaching her with his shoulders slumped and his hands pushed deep into the pockets of his pants.

“Hey,” he whispered, sitting down on the edge of Felicity’s work station opposite from her. “You’re still here.”

“I just wanted to check how the mission went.”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I said everything there was to say. I just hope I am smart enough in the future to listen to myself.”

Sara smiled at him sadly. When she had first seen 2046 and met Oliver, who had been alone and sad, she had wondered what exactly had happened between him and Felicity.

Oliver was a friend. She wouldn’t be where she was today if it hadn’t been for him. If he hadn’t given her hope after she had come from the League, and if he hadn’t contacted his friend to bring her soul back after she had been resurrected, she would have never gotten the chance to do so much good in life. She had wanted to give him back for that.

“Does Felicity know why I sent you there?”

“No,” Oliver replied. “At least not yet. I… am going to tell her as soon as I get back home. After this time travel we were just too tired. Is that normal?”

Sara shrugged her shoulders. “You get used to it.”

Oliver nodded, rubbing his hand over the back of his head. Sara watched him for a long moment before she pulled a small box out of the pocket of her pants and opened it.

“What’s that?” Oliver asked. “I guess it’s not just peppermint, right?”

“No, it’s not,” Sara replied. “You need to forget what happened.”

“What?”

“The more we know of what’s wrong with the future, the more we are trying to act differently, so we can prevent it from happening. One little change can put apart the whole future, though. The more we mess with time, the more it messes back,” Sara explained. “What we did with letting you travel forward in time was dangerous already. We don’t know what world you would get into when you spend the next years in the knowledge that what you and Felicity are building right now might not last. We can’t risk getting the whole world in trouble for that, right?”

She watched Oliver taking in a deep breath. This couldn’t be easy for him. She knew how much Felicity meant to him, and the thought that what he had seen in the future would become his presence one day was probably unbearable. Sara knew that there was no other chance, though. He needed to take that pill and eventually he really reached out his hand and took one of them.

“What about Felicity?” Oliver asked, eying up the pill suspiciously. “She knows that I know. If I don’t tell her what happened-“

“I will talk to her and explain it to her,” Sara promised. “And she will have to take a pill, too. It’s better you forget that you have ever been in the future in the first place.”

Again Oliver nodded, not really looking convinced.

“Do you think Felicity and I will make it?”

 “We will find out in the future,” Sara replied with a shrug of her shoulders. She put her hand to his cheek, stroking her fingertips through his stubble for a short moment. “I’ll go see Felicity now. Bye, Oliver.”

“Bye, Sara.”

Sara walked away, only turning her head over her shoulder to see Oliver taking the pill. She would keep her fingers crossed for him because the Oliver she saw when she had been in 2046 the last time was not the one she wanted to see when she traveled there the next time.


End file.
